Renew Page 4

  “Yes, sir,” I answer, dropping the leg and moving to the next.

  “What are you planning on doing with it?”

  After cleaning out the last hoof, I stand and look over at the man who practically saved my life many years ago. “I was thinking of selling it. Perhaps you could help me find a good home.”

  Adam nods his head and leads Boaz into his stall, locking it, and moving down to grab Missy’s horse, Eowyn. Eowyn is a beautiful palomino mare with a gentleness similar to Serendipity. Missy named her horse after a character from her favorite movie series, The Lord of the Rings.

  I take Dexter, Kristy’s horse, back into his stall and grab Jeremy’s, Raven. I quickly brush the shiny black coat, softly rolling my eyes. This horse has a pristine coat, and even after spending a day out with Eowyn, he comes back with hardly a speck of dust. It’s almost as if the horse is scared of the dirt.

  “Has Adelaide showed any interest in riding again since the small mishap?” Adam asks. I frown, picking the dirt out of Raven’s hooves.

  “No. I fear she has no desire to do so again.”

  Adelaide has been with the Cranes for a little over a week now. She’s still skittish and hesitant about speaking in front of people, but I can tell she’s already growing comfortable here. She enjoys tending the garden and brushing Serendipity. It brings me joy that my horse can offer her solace, even if it seems I can’t.

  Sunday, we spent most of the day in the bed of my truck. Kristy and I answered all her questions to the best of our ability.

  She asked about God and who He is. She asked if He still loved her, even though she’s so different…and she used the word “strange.” I detest that word. I would never use it to describe Adelaide, and I will ensure that she nor anyone else never will either.

  Adelaide continued to ask what school was, because she has overheard Kristy and Jeremy talking about it. Sunday was the last day of their spring break and Monday they had to return. Kristy tried her best to explain, but Adelaide seemed confused. I always fear we’re overloading her with information.

  But she never stopped asking questions. She’s hungry for answers.

  “Do I need to go to school?” Adelaide had asked. Kristy and I looked at each other with uncertainty.

  “I’m sure you’ll be given a placement test. You will then be given an education based on your answers. I’m sure Missy will insist on homeschooling you,” I answered.

  There is no way Missy was going to throw Adelaide into school, to be ridiculed and bullied by hormonal teenagers who don’t understand. And if for some reason Missy considers the option, I will persuade her that homeschooling is best for Adelaide.

  Adelaide asked to learn about the different breeds of horses. When we returned home, we pulled out all the horses from the barn and lined them up, color coded. We went down the line, naming and explaining each horse.

  It’s amazing, the complete awe and thirst to learn behind her eyes. Adelaide never skipped a beat. She processed everything we gave her and most of the information was retained. She was able to repeat the breeds back to us, only getting a few wrong.

  I know she has more questions…how can she not? I see her walking outside and looking at the world around her. She doesn’t miss any detail. She listens to the birds in the sky, feels the wind through her hair, inhales the fresh air mixed with natural ranch odors. Adelaide is beautiful, and an inspiration.

  I have taken the beauty around me for granted, I’m not denying it. It just took an isolated girl finally set free to show me the truth.

  “Get her out here again. Set her up on Eowyn and, this time, be in control of the horse,” Adam says, putting Missy’s horse back into the stall. I chuckle, shaking my head.

  I silently hope that Adelaide will agree to ride with me again. I really do.

  Adelaide sips her strawberry smoothie beside me, her eyes transfixed on the screen in front of us. I glance over at Kristy to see her smiling at her cousin. The movie playing on the screen is a classic: Gone With the Wind.

  Adelaide is on the edge of her seat, watching as Rhett over-dramatically sweeps Scarlett into a kiss. Adelaide gasps, jumping back slightly to raise her hand to her mouth, softly touching her lips.

  Kristy pauses the movie and we carefully watch Adelaide. “What was that?” she asks, pointing to the screen. She looks over at me, our eyes meeting.

  My heart nearly races in my chest. I have never taught someone the definition of a kiss. I have never had to explain it. It’s common that everyone knows, yet Adelaide hasn’t got a clue as to why Rhett is nearly devouring Scarlet’s face.

  “A kiss,” I tell her.

  “Kiss…” Adelaide says softly, testing the word. Her light blue eyes hold wonder. “What does it do?”

  I clear my throat and look at Kristy in desperation.

  The way I want to teach Adelaide about a kiss is selfish and I’m sure I’ll scare the poor girl off. I have wanted to kiss Adelaide since the first day in the barn. And here she is, providing me with a perfect, sneaky opportunity.

  But I couldn’t do that to her. Adelaide deserves to form her own feelings and opinions. After she learns the meaning of a kiss, it will be her decision if she ever wants to bestow one upon me. I will not steal that away from her.

  “When a man and a woman have feelings for each other, like my ma and pa, they kiss. It is a sign of affection.”

  “Oh…what does it feel like? It looks uncomfortable.”

  I roll my eyes. That’s only because Scarlet doesn’t know how to be anything less than melodramatic.

  “It’s nice, Adelaide. When you kiss someone, it’s a special experience shared only with the two of you…and I promise, you’ll like it.” Kristy smiles.

  Kristy is a saint. She’s so patient with Adelaide. She doesn’t grow frustrated or roll her eyes if she deems a question ridiculous. Instead, she smiles and provides answers to any question she can.

  “So you only kiss someone if you like them…how do you know if you like someone?” I slyly motion for Kristy to continue.

  I’m not sure if I would provide the best answers for these questions.

  “You will know if you find yourself thinking of him when you’re apart. How the room seems just a bit brighter when he walks in. Or when you get a bubbly feeling in your stomach when he’s near. When you genuinely care about him, and want to be around him.”

  Adelaide hangs her head slightly, and I can’t help but wonder if she has any of those feelings toward me, because I have every single one for her. Adelaide is constantly on my mind, no matter what task is at hand.

  “Is that how you feel about Kristy?” Adelaide surprises me by turning her attention to me. My mouth falls open in shock and I just stare at her for a suffocating minute.

  “K-Kristy? N-no…Kristy is practically my sister.”

  “So? You can’t have those feelings for your sister?” Adelaide’s eyebrows come together in confusion and I sigh.

  My heart breaks with every question, because every question resembles a secret her mother kept from her.

  “Of course I have feelings for Kristy. I love her. But the feelings that they have—” I point to the screen “—are different. Siblings do not kiss, Adelaide. Husbands and wives kiss. Boyfriends and girlfriends kiss. People who want to spend the rest of their lives together as a couple, kiss. Are we making any sense, darlin’?” I ask, arching an eyebrow in question.

  Adelaide slowly shakes her head. “I’m sorry for all the questions. I imagine this is difficult for you guys.”

  Difficult for us? We’re teachers, trying to educate a willing student. This is hardly difficult for us. If anything, this must be strenuous on her.

  “Adelaide, never apologize. We’re happy to help. Things will get easier. We’ll watch movies, and you’ll read countless novels. And in time, you’ll learn all there is…and we’ll help you along the way,” Kristy promises.

  Adelaide perks up, her eyes bright with happiness and hope. “I can read?
” she asks. I smile softly and stand.

  “Follow me,” I say. Adelaide practically leaps to her feet and hurriedly follows me. I lead her down the hall to Adam’s office, where I push open the door. Adelaide peeks in and freezes, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

  She looks at the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves behind Adam’s desk. They are completely filled with books, with no space available for a new addition.

  I lead Adelaide around the desk and grab a book: Jack London’s “Call of the Wild.” I hand it to Adelaide and she gently grasps it in her delicate hands.

  “Every book in here is at your disposal. Grab a seat, get comfortable, and read, darlin’. Read to your heart’s content. I want you to travel the world through literature…visit Venice and Barcelona. Learn the different cultures. I want you to realize that this world is yours now. You’re free, Adelaide. And the places you will read about are real. And one day, you will visit them.”

  Adelaide lifts her head, her blue eyes swimming in tears. I tilt my head to the side, looking at every facet of her. She’s so beautiful. “Thank you, Maddox. You have no idea what this means to me. So, thank you.”

  I reach out and softly brush a tendril of hair behind her ear, wishing to let my hand linger. But I know contact is still frightening for her, so I withdraw my hand and smile. “You’re welcome.”

  Options

  *Adelaide*

  May 1, 2017

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  I roll over to turn off my alarm clock.

  Instead of getting up, I curl into a ball and stare at the red glowing numbers.

  I’m still struggling with the concept of time. How are we able to place a day within a time frame? To split it up with “twenty-four hours”? And then to break an hour into sixty minutes, and then break a minute into sixty seconds…who came up with these numbers? Who came up with the length of a second, or even the length of a day?

  When I was first introduced to time, it was my first Sunday morning with the Cranes. Missy was yelling through the house saying, “Church is at nine forty-five!” I honestly had no idea what that meant, on top of not knowing what church was.

  How does everyone have the same time? How is it ensured that the person’s clock down the street is also glowing 6:32?

  I guess this is something I should have learned when I was young so I could grow up with the knowledge of it. But there was no such thing as time. I was one with the sun outside…when it rose, so did I. And when it set, I went to bed.

  Why wouldn’t my ma teach me about time?

  Sighing, I swing my legs off the side of the bed and rise, walking toward my dresser to pull out an outfit.

  I am slowly becoming comfortable with jeans, silently liking the odd sense of freedom they give me. I also wear flannels, mostly bright colored ones. I’m dead-set on keeping the dull colors out of my wardrobe, if I have anything to do with it.

  So I mostly wear red, pink, purple, and blue flannels with black or light blue wash jeans.

  Today, I pull on a pair of high waist light blue washed flare jeans, according to Kristy’s teachings, and a blue flannel tucked in with an inch-wide belt. When Kristy described every article of clothing that she picked out for me, I was greatly confused. But as time has gone by and with daily lessons, I am beginning to understand fashion.

  I believe Kristy will be proud.

  I slip on brown boots that are hidden by the pant legs, and after throwing my hair up in a messy bun, I exit my bedroom quietly. I know Kristy and Jeremy sleep well until seven, as late as they can until they have to get ready for school.

  I try to be courteous and sneak out of the house without waking them up. I’m usually the first up in the household.

  The sun is slowly rising in the sky, therefore it is partially dark out as I jog along the stone pathway. I throw a glance at the beautiful garden as I pass it, a habit that I’ve formed. I have always appreciated plants, and while I enjoy gardening, I want to expand my hobbies. I want to enjoy grooming horses or helping out with the cows.

  I open the door to the barn and quickly walk over to Serendipity’s stall. Maddox doesn’t mind me tending to her, grooming her daily, and even walking her around the ranch. It pleases me that he trusts me with his horse.

  I grab Serendipity’s halter and open the stall door, following the correct procedures Maddox taught me when retrieving a horse. I delicately run a hand down the gray mare’s face, starting with her forehead and moving lower to her soft nose. She gently nudges my hand and I smile, stepping aside so I can put the halter on. I then attach the lead rope and guide the large mare out of the stall.

  Serendipity seems to be getting bigger and bigger as the days go on. At this point, I’m half convinced the foal will just drop from her stomach, ripping the horse in half.

  I walk Serendipity out of the barn, our pace sluggish as we enjoy the rising sun. Vibrant colors of pink and yellow dance across the clear sky, creating a calm atmosphere.

  The loyal horse walks beside me, the rope loose within my grasp. Serendipity is well-trained, Maddox has taken great care of her. I wonder how her foal will be…will he be as gentle has his mother? Or perhaps he will cause trouble.

  I don’t fully understand how Serendipity…or anyone, really, is pregnant. I understand that there is a baby growing inside of her, but how did it get there? Do we reach a certain age and suddenly become pregnant?

  And why is it that only females can be pregnant? Why can’t men?

  It makes no sense to me. Time, school, God, kissing, pregnancy. All of it…it makes no sense and it’s my ma’s fault!

  How could she do this to me? How could she keep me from so much beauty? How could she allow me to grow old without the simple knowledge of time? Or how could she serve me PB and J’s constantly, but never lasagna?

  She has made me an outcast. She caused me to be different—a freak—as Jeremy says. And I don’t even know the reason why!

  I feel warm tears roll down my cheeks and realize I have stopped walking to lean against the fence as I stare at the morning sky. I quickly wipe my tears away and turn Serendipity around to return to the barn.

  When I walk inside I see Boaz, the dark bay, tied to the wall in the middle of the aisle. I halt Serendipity and pull my eyebrows together, wondering who brought the horse out.

  “Morning, Adelaide.” I look over my shoulder and smile as Adam walks up from behind Serendipity, softly running his hand over her rump to keep her from getting spooked.

  “Good morning, Adam,” I respond. Adam gently pushes on Boaz, causing his horse to side-step closer to the left side of the aisle, allowing me to walk by.

  After I put Serendipity away, I grab a brush and help Adam groom his horse.

  “Have you thought about riding again?” Adam suddenly asks after a few minutes of silence. I look at him over Boaz’s back, a frown settling on my mouth.

  “No…the first time didn’t go so well,” I say honestly.

  It scared me. I had no control over the horse and I had no idea what I was doing. If it wasn’t for Maddox, I’m sure I would have ended up with an injury. I’m glad I tried, but I’m not in any rush to get back on a horse.

  I like it better when I walk beside them instead of sitting upon them.

  “The first time hardly goes well with anyone. It’d be a miracle if you were able to get on and have no difficulties. I believe Dexter was the wrong choice for you, however,” Adam says, leaving me for a moment to come back with a saddle in his hands.

  He begins tacking up his horse and I stand by, watching every movement he makes.

  “Boaz is a better option?” I ask, my heart accelerating at the fear of Adam forcing me onto the back of his horse. If I don’t want to ride, he won’t make me, will he?

  “No. Eowyn, Missy’s horse, is the best option since Serendipity is pregnant. Those two are our most gentle horses,” Adam answers, grabbing Boaz’s reins. “Well, I’m going to go for a ride. Feel free to take Eowyn out and perhaps get to know
her. If you want to ride, Maddox will be happy to assist you.”

  Without another word, Adam leaves and I’m alone in the barn. I look over at Eowyn’s stall, sighing. I’m half-tempted to open the door and bring the horse out, but I’m also uncertain.

  Missy wouldn’t mind? It’s her personal horse, surely she wouldn’t want me around it.

  Adam wouldn’t have offered if his wife wasn’t okay with it, I think.

  After a short debate, I decide that grooming the horse wouldn’t hurt. So, I lead the palomino mare out and slowly begin grooming her.

  Adam was right. Eowyn is practically as gentle as Serendipity. She stands sturdy, allowing me to brush and walk around her. She even has the same eyes. The same eyes that see me for who I am.

  I sigh again, pressing my forehead against Eowyn’s. The horse snorts softly and I let out a soft laugh.

  Is she encouraging me?

  I suck my bottom lip between my teeth and chew on it something fierce before I begin walking to the tack room.

  I grab the saddle that is placed under Eowyn’s name, grabbing the bridle as well. Remembering how I’ve seen Maddox and Adam tack up horses countless times, I follow their procedures. Eowyn stands still as I do my best. When I’m done, I step back to see that everything looks as it should…as I’ve seen on other horses.

  “Am I doing this?” I whisper to the horse. Her brown eyes flick to me at the sound of my voice and hold my gaze for a moment. I reach forward and gently brush under her eyes. She is so soft there.

  Nerves overwhelm me. I have no idea what I’m about to do. I don’t know how to ride, I’ve never done it. I’ve seen Adam and Maddox do it every day, but that’s hardly the same thing.

  You just tacked up this horse, based solely on observations, I argue with myself.

  I have two options. I can either untack this horse, put her back in the stall, and return to the house, where I will continue to be the isolated girl who dreamed of one day seeing a horse. Or, I can take that dream one step further and put the isolated girl to rest.