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  “I was the interrogator. I was the one who got the answers, with whatever means necessary. There was one man who had a daughter that Nile wanted. I was tasked with finding out where the daughter was hidden. The man refused to tell me. Days of beating and three chopped off fingers later, the man was at the cusp of life and death. He finally told me where to find her. And I gave Nile the location, so he could abduct a thirteen-year-old girl.” I stare at Maddox with wide eyes as he bows his head. Harsh sobs run through him as I do nothing but stare at him.

  How is this out there? How are there people that are so twisted and evil that they desire kidnapping little girls? How did the world become so evil in Chicago, when everything is so beautiful in Grove, Oklahoma?

  “I did this to save you. Because I love you so, so much, Adelaide. But there were people out there who loved that girl too. How could I have been so selfish? I am so disgusted with myself. How can you even look at me?”

  I lean forward and run a hand through Maddox’s hair, grabbing it to lift his head. Maddox’s beautiful brown eyes are swimming with tears as he looks at me.

  “That wasn’t you, Maddox. That was Nile. You were forced to do those things to save the people you love. To save yourself. You’re so torn about it, sweetheart, that it proves you did this without your own volition. You’re a good man, Cameron Maddox Steele. And I do love you, in spite of it all.”

  Maddox lets out a shaky breath. “I’m scared he’ll come back. I’m scared he’ll try to take you from me.”

  I let out a soft, sarcastic laugh. “I’d like to see him try.”

  Maddox grabs me by my waist and pulls me into his arms, crushing me against his chest. “Thank you, Adelaide. Now, let’s get you home to tend to that wrist.”

  Even though there are still a million questions swarming through my mind, I know enough have been answered tonight. I’m grateful that Maddox shared as much as he did.

  And I will never tell him, but I am absolutely terrified of Nile and dread the day he comes back. Because considering the man that he is, he will be back.

  Relapse

  July 12, 2017

  My wrist hardly hurts anymore. Sometimes, when I put a lot of pressure or Phoenix jerks the rope in my grasp, I feel a slight stinging pain. But all in all, I say it’s practically healed. Maddox insisted that I sit in bed or on the couch for a full two days after it happened, with it elevated. It’s safe to say he had exaggerated the extent of the injury a bit, but I didn’t dare deny him. I could tell he was consumed with guilt, and if I could relieve some of it by sitting still for forty-eight hours, then I would.

  However, by day three, enough was enough. I had to get back outside and work with Phoenix. Maddox has also been with me, helping with training. I’m glad, feeling at peace as we work to make up for lost time.

  We’re finally working on getting the saddle on Phoenix’s back. I have a few more months until I’m able to ride him, but we need to get him used to walking around with something on his back.

  I sit on the fence as Maddox drapes a saddle pad on Phoenix’s large back. He then fastens it with an extra-large girth. I notice he leaves the girth looser than usual, not wanting to make Phoenix too uncomfortable.

  I admire Maddox as he expertly works with my horse, his muscles taut as he tugs on the girth, making sure it’s at the appropriate length. His grey shirt is coated in sweat from the hot summer sun beaming down on him. He wipes his forehead with his bandanna-clad wrist. His dark jeans are snug on his waist and thighs but loosen as they reach his black work boots. I wonder how he works in clothes that are so heavy and don’t have any breathing room, but I realize I’m just the same as him.

  However, as all women’s clothing usually is, mine is lighter. I’m wearing dark semi-flare jeans that hug my thighs and cover my dark brown boots, the backs snagging on bits of gravel every now and again. I have on a blue plaid shirt that I tie off just under my chest, a white tank top on underneath. My hair is in two messy braids and pulled over my shoulders to keep it off the back of my neck. I’m also wearing the black cowgirl hat that Maddox gave me, as I always do.

  Maddox looks over at me to meet my eyes. I smile at him, tossing a sweet wave his way. He gives me a crooked smile that causes his eyes to crinkle with pure happiness.

  He is truly in his domain when he’s with horses.

  It’s hard to imagine him as a juvenile being forced to live in this life, to begrudgingly brush a horse and tend the fences. Now, I can hardly envision him living anywhere else.

  “Adelaide. Come here,” Maddox says, holding a hand out to me. I bite the inside of my cheek and hop off the fence, walking at a fast pace to slip my hand into Maddox’s. He grips my fingers gently and pulls me to his side, kissing the top of my head.

  I smile up at him. “I’m still astonished by the progress you’ve made with him. Honestly, if Phoenix was two years old right now, I’d place you on his back and begin his training under the saddle. I’m so proud of you.” His words send my heart into a leaping voyage. It thumps against my chest, swelling with love.

  “It’s been a long journey. A part of me wishes for the two years to come, but another part doesn’t. I don’t want to wish away his youth. I enjoy watching him grow, seeing his coat change to this beautiful gray. And I don’t want to lose any more time training him with you.” The corners of Maddox’s eyes dip as he frowns softly, leaning down to place his lips atop my head. He holds me to him, giving my body a soft squeeze.

  “I love you, Addy-Mae. Now, let’s lead him around the corral to get him used to the feeling of the pad on his back.” Maddox hands me the lead rope and I grip it tightly, looking into Phoenix’s eyes. He meets my gaze, slightly cocking his head to the side. I smile softly at my beautiful horse, reaching forward to run a hand down the length of his face.

  Maddox takes a few steps back so we’re not crowding Phoenix as I lead him forward. Phoenix does a half step, and upon feeling the saddle pad rub against his shoulders, he throws his head up and snorts. I watch as his feet do a small dance, as if he’s determining to rear up onto his hind legs or not.

  I place my hands out at my sides and gently coax Phoenix to calm down. When he does, I reach into the pouch on the side of my waist and pull out a handful of oats. I stick it under Phoenix’s muzzle and he greedily accepts them. “Good boy,” I say, stepping forward to run my hand down his neck, whispering softly into his ear.

  Once he’s calm and is standing lax, I lead him forward once more. Phoenix takes a few steps before he again snorts and throws his head up.

  This time, he follows through and kicks his front legs up, causing the rope to slide through my fingers at a burning pace. I grip the end, but remember not to tug on it.

  “Easy, Phoenix. Easy,” I whisper.

  “Adelaide, be careful,” Maddox warns from behind me. I ignore him, staring at Phoenix as he stands tall on his two hind legs, a loud whinny ripping from his muzzle.

  My poor boy, I think. If only I could make this easier for you.

  I take a step back, putting distance between us, and when Phoenix seems to feel comfortable, he drops his legs and watches me. I sigh, giving him a small smile and a few moments to gather himself before stepping forward and gently running my hand down his face.

  Phoenix’s eyes bore into my own, watching every move I make and anticipating my next. “It’s going to be okay, boy. You just have to trust me,” I say, wishing the horse could fully understand what I’m saying.

  I place a kiss on his forehead and then take a step back, keeping our eyes locked together the entire time. Phoenix follows me a few steps, stops with a snort, and when I quickly loosen the tug on the rope, he continues to walk forward.

  I smile with pride as I lead my horse around the corral. Once we make it all the way around, I stop and look at Maddox to see him grinning.

  “You have that horse’s trust in the palm of your hand, Adelaide.” I feel my cheeks heat up. I don’t remember anyone ever being this proud of me. And
seeing Maddox literally beaming with pride, it warms my heart.

  I undo the girth around Phoenix’s stomach and take the saddle pad off. I then quickly but gently brush away the subtle markings it left behind. Phoenix stands tall and still as I tend to him. This horse loves to be groomed; he nearly leans into the brush.

  Once his coat is gleaming, I lead him to the pasture with his mother and Dexter. I take off his halter and watch as he throws his head up and practically leaps into the field, running straight for his mother.

  Serendipity lets out a soft whinny, greeting her son with a gentle nuzzle. I close the pasture gate and lean against the fence, watching the majestic animals prancing and playing. They try their best to keep up with the energetic colt, but soon tire and Phoenix is left rolling around in the dirt by himself.

  I scold my horse, for I had just groomed his coat to perfection. And he simply rolls in the mud and dirt, coming back up caked in soil.

  I roll my eyes and turn to face Maddox, who is simply watching me. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. I giggle, stepping forward to wrap an arm around his neck, causing him to lower his head so our foreheads meet.

  “I still feel as though this is all a dream. That I’m going to wake up and you’re going to be whisked away from me again,” I admit softly. Maddox places a hand on my left cheek, gently rubbing away the frown on my lips.

  “That’s not going to happen. It’s going to take a—” Maddox is cut off by a loud scream.

  I feel my body tense as Maddox acts instantly. He grabs me rather roughly and shoves me behind him as he whirls around. My eyes barely register as he reaches back and grabs a gun from under his shirt and between the waist of his jeans. I hear the gun cock as he holds it out in front of him, his muscles tight.

  Since when did he carry a gun?

  I mean, this is Oklahoma…a lot of people carry guns. I just never knew Maddox did.

  His eyes are trained on the house, and when Missy runs out the front door, Maddox’s aim immediately turns to the movement. I gasp, watching as he hands twitch slightly and I see he’s waiting for someone to run out of the house after Missy.

  “Maddox!” Missy yells, her eyes wide with horror as she approaches us. When Maddox seems to realize there is no physical threat, he lowers his gun and stares at his ma with confusion.

  “What’s the matter?” he asks.

  Hot tears roll down Missy Crane’s face as she stares up at Maddox with desperation. My heart squeezes tight as I step forward and grab Maddox’s arm out of fear. I know that whatever Missy is about to say, it will result in Maddox leaving me again, because the look in Missy’s eyes is not only pained and frightful, but I also see a morsel of accusation.

  “It’s Jeremy.”

  And with that, I can almost taste the goodbye on my tongue as Maddox turns to look at me with the most vacant expression I have ever seen upon his features.

  Her Past

  *Maddox*

  July 12, 2017

  Pure rage boils through my veins. The desire to completely subject Nile to a life as a cripple has never been so strong.

  He has threatened the last person.

  I had nearly forsaken my soul to him to protect Adelaide. Was that enough? No…now he has brutally abused my brother and is holding him captive until I return to give my life to the Cicero Disciples.

  He claims he’ll kill Jeremy if I do not.

  How was I ever involved in such a life?

  I tighten my grip on my gun, my finger twitching to pull the trigger.

  I try to take deep breaths as my ma cries in front of me, mentally breaking down at the thought of losing her real son. I’m not related to Missy. She doesn’t have a claim over me. Even though she won’t say it, I’m sure she’s willing to let me sacrifice my life for Jeremy.

  And so am I.

  “No. Please…please, not again.” I hear her sweet voice over the roar of anger ringing in my ears. My mind is foggy as I try to determine the best plan to carry out. How to approach this situation.

  But Adelaide’s voice whisks me away from the smog and I look over to see her beautiful face all red and wet with tears. She shakes her head violently as she steps back. I see her chest heaving as she tries to breathe.

  “I-I can’t do it again. Maddox…I can’t survive this again. You can’t leave!” she yells, and even though I wish to hear her every day for the rest of my life, her voice becomes static and muffles out of focus.

  I turn my gaze, flashes of the ranch running through my mind. Of Missy, Kristy, Jeremy, and Adam at the dinner table, laughing at a stupid joke. Their wrinkled eyes are all I see as they’re genuinely happy with each other. I see a vision of Adelaide shrieking as I throw a handful of hay at her head, when we had our hay-fight.

  This is my family. And I would give my life for them.

  Tears well in my eyes as I turn from the two crying women and head straight for my truck. Cooper lets out a bark, running after me. “Stay!” I yell at him and his whimper is distant as I see him shrink to the ground from the corner of my eyes.

  “Maddox! Don’t you dare get into that car! If you drive away, don’t ever come back!” I hear Adelaide screaming at me. Her words are a dagger to my heart. Not because of their meaning, but because of the completely shattered tone in her voice.

  Does she think I want this? I want to spend every single day with her, until we grow gray and old with grandchildren running around us. Of course, I don’t want to get into this car. But it’s Jeremy…he’s my brother and he’s in this situation because of me.

  Because of Adelaide…because in all honestly, she was the only reason for me to leave the Cicero Disciples and return to Oklahoma. If it weren’t for the constant thought of holding her and loving her again, I would have stayed in Chicago as a wrecked man.

  I feel fists pounding my back as I grab the handle of the truck door and I freeze under the impact, allowing her to let her anger out on me.

  “How dare you? How dare you just throw me aside again. How dare you leave without even sparing us a goodbye again!” I turn and look down at Adelaide. Her beautiful blue eyes meet mine and I can’t help but lower my head to rest my forehead against hers. I reach up and sink my fingers into her hair, clinging to her.

  “You mistake my eagerness to leave, Adelaide. If I stay, I risk you talking me out of leaving and we chance Jeremy’s death. I have to leave. You honestly don’t expect me to just let Nile kill him!”

  “Of course I don’t. But we’re his family as well, Maddox. Not just you. It’s not just you! We care. We love him too! Let us come with you!” I look at Adelaide with complete shock as my jaw clenches. I shake my head slowly, my eyes burning with the fire within me.

  “That will never happen, Adelaide. Do you understand that I left to go to Chicago to save your life? And now you want to endanger it? Nile will only use you against me. You’re vulnerable in this situation. All of you are. You guys mean the world to me, and Nile won’t hesitate to use that to his advantage.”

  “Okay…” Adelaide whispers, looking down at the ground, her bottom lip shaking as another sob rips through her. “Okay.”

  To see Adelaide so broken is almost my undoing. Why couldn’t we be granted a life that would end in nothing but our happiness? Why couldn’t we spend our days training horses, mending fences, and caring for our children?

  Why would God give me this amazing woman, only to rip me away from her…again? Haven’t we both suffered enough?

  Or am I still repaying for the sins of my past?

  I have asked for forgiveness and I know God has forgiven. So why…?

  “You’re not thinking rationally. Maddox, don’t drive away with an angry heart. You need to be level-minded,” Adelaide whispers.

  I see Missy walking toward us, a stomp in her step, and I turn to face her just as she shoves me hard on the chest. I stagger back a step and pull my eyebrows together.

  “You impetuous boy! I just got you back! I’m not willing to lose both of
my boys!” Missy’s words shock me into silence as I just stare at her.

  Does she mean it? Surely, she doesn’t. Jeremy is her son…her baby boy. She merely adopted me eight years ago and has loved me fiercely…but that doesn’t beat the bond of a true son.

  “You are my son too. Sacrificing your life is not the answer to this, Maddox. I didn’t come out here in hysterics with the desire of you giving your life for his. I came out here because I need your help to save him!”

  Adam, Missy and I step out of the car that picked us up at the airport. Nile sent a trusted driver to fetch us and dispose of any weapons. I grimaced as I watched him toss my gun into his trunk. I look at the Cicero Disciples’ main house, my stomach twisting in knots.

  I can’t believe I ever called this place home.

  Missy places a hand on my arm and I look down to see her bright blue eyes look at me with anxiety.

  Missy shouldn’t even be here, but she refused to sit back at home while her sons’ lives are in the balance.

  It tore my heart out to bid Adelaide goodbye, not knowing if I’ll return. And she wasn’t too pleased to be left behind.

  “You can’t honestly expect me to sit here, waiting!” Adelaide says, her eyes pleading as she glances between Missy, Adam, and myself. I sigh, wanting to wrap her up in my arms and whisk her away to someplace safe.

  But I can’t. Because there is no safe place. Not yet.

  “Honey, this isn’t something you should bear witness to. Besides, we need you and Kristy to stay back and watch over the ranch,” Missy says, laying a delicate hand on Adelaide’s arm. Adelaide looks at it with a pained expression before she side-steps out of her aunt’s touch.

  I walk forward and gently cup her face between my hands. “You know that I love you, Adelaide Crane. And I will give it my all to return to you. But I will not have a clear mind in Chicago if I’m worrying about you. Please…if I know you’re here, waiting for me…it will be motivation enough.”