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  “Observant as always, Tyler.” I give him a clap on the shoulder, tossing him a smile.

  “W-what are you doing here? You should be home…” I shake my head, grabbing my Government book and a few notebooks.

  “I’m fine. I need to be here.” I look around the hall, my eyebrows furrowed. “Where’s Mikey?”

  Tyler scratches the back of his neck. “Home. Hasn’t been here since the funeral. I wouldn’t be either if my grades were as good as his. So again, why the hell are you here, Dallas?”

  I scoff. Of course Mikey is home. He was always close with Kyle. I think he looked at him as a little brother. So did Tyler. Perhaps they were better brothers than I ever was…

  “Basketball,” I reply.

  “Dallas!” someone yells. I roll my head to the side and put on my brightest smile as Ashley bounds down the hall, giggling. She throws her arms around my neck. “Welcome back, baby. We’ve missed you!” Ashley’s blonde hair tickles my nose as she clings to me. I gently push her back, and she instantly places a kiss to my lips.

  “I’ve missed you too,” I lie. I totally forgot about Ashley while I was gone. After the funeral, I haven’t seen her, and she never once crossed my mind. I felt a little guilty about it but decided to brush the thought away.

  “Come on. We’re gonna be late,” Tyler mutters, hitting my arm, and the three of us walk to Government class, my arm slung over Ashley’s shoulders. She’s smiling widely, not knowing that I will soon be breaking off whatever it is we have going on.

  I honestly don’t want to date anyone right now. I need to focus on basketball and getting to the NCAA. Having a girlfriend will definitely keep me back.

  “Does anyone know what Pavlov’s Theory is?” Mrs. White asks.

  The class is silent as I lean back against my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. Psychology is one of my favorite classes; however, I have no idea what she’s talking about. I clearly missed a lot while I was away.

  “Classical conditioning.” Everyone turns to the quiet voice in the back of the room. My eyes narrow in on Kayla Williams, the mousy girl who tutored Kyle. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail as usual, and she’s wearing a large sweatshirt and a pair of faded flare jeans with red Chuck Taylors. “It was where he tested dogs…if they would salivate from the ring of a bell.”

  “Correct.” Everyone turns back to the teacher; however, I keep my eyes glued on Kayla.

  I always wondered why Kyle liked her. He would come home, talking about how nice and pretty his tutor was. I just never saw it. And when he claimed she beat him in basketball, I was almost offended. She beat my brother, the boy crafted from my own skill? It’s almost as if she beat me, and I was not okay with it. No girl will beat the Perkins brothers.

  As if feeling my eyes on her, she lifts her head, and her hazel eyes meet mine. I tense for a moment before I turn away.

  I curse myself for mentally agreeing with Kyle. She was sort of pretty.

  Tyler sits beside me at the lunch table, chowing on his slice of pizza. I play with my plate full of grapes as I stare down at the table. Neither of us have spoken, only enjoying each other’s presence. Ashley is talking obnoxiously about her weekend, getting a mani-pedi with her best friend, Shannon.

  I glance over at Ashley, wondering how I will be able to break the news to her. I have broken many girls’ hearts before. But I’m not in the mood to see anymore tears.

  Shaking my head, I promise myself I’ll do it tomorrow. I pop a green grape in my mouth and gaze across the cafeteria, my eyes landing on a familiar face. She’s sitting with her best friend…I can’t remember her name…Anna? Annie? Haley? I mentally shrug as I watch Kayla bite the tip of her pointer finger as her eyes slide across the page of her book.

  Her facial expressions tell me exactly what is happening in the book. There is a mixture of happiness and comedy as her face lights up.

  Occasionally, she lifts her eyes to look at her friend and grin, laughing at the joke. I come to the conclusion that she has a great smile.

  I bite the inside of my cheek, silently punishing myself for thinking that. I don’t know why, but I feel as if I should hate her with everything inside me. Aside from me, Kayla was the closest person to Kyle. Maybe even more so than Mikey and Tyler.

  Kyle told Kayla things he would never tell me. I know because he always left her house with a smile, a weight lifted off his shoulders. He always seemed overly happy with her, and I envied their relationship.

  That is why I requested September 5th off. To spend time with my brother and rekindle our relationship. I did it because I was jealous of Kayla. Kyle is dead because I was jealous of a girl.

  I growl and stand from the table, marching over to Kayla’s table. When I get there, I call her name.

  She only holds up a finger. “One minute,” she whispers, continuing on with her reading. I grit my teeth, shuffling on my feet. When she’s done, she closes the book gently and looks up at me, her beautiful eyes meeting mine. “Dallas,” she greets, offering a sympathetic smile. “How’s your mom?”

  I’m taken back by her question, yet I don’t let it get in the way. She needs to know. “It’s your fault,” I say.

  Kayla’s eyes widen as she slightly tilts her head. “What do you mean?” Her voice is soft, gentle, begging me to be nice to her.

  “It’s your fault he’s dead.” I keep my face hard, glaring at her, as if I am glaring into her soul.

  Kayla seems to stiffen at my words, her mouth gaping as she looks me up and down. “I-I’m so sorry, Dallas. I didn’t mean any harm.”

  “You just had to play basketball with him, didn’t you? You couldn’t leave the one thing my brother and I had to us, could you? You had to steal him from me!”

  “No. No, Dallas. Your brother loved you so much. He idolized you!” she says, trying desperately to calm me, to help me. Why isn’t she livid or hurt? Why is she accepting everything I am saying?

  “I hate you.”

  “That’s enough. I think you should leave.” I look over to see Annie/Anna/Haley rising to stand in from of me, blocking my view of Kayla. “There’s been enough heartbreak. No need to harm anyone else, okay, Dallas?”

  I squint at her before I shake my head and turn to walk back, only to stop on my first step and turn to Kayla. “Next time you take Kyle to play basketball, I’m coming with. So I can prove the Perkins don’t lose. Especially not to a girl.”

  Without another word, I go back to Tyler, sitting beside him. He raises his eyebrows, giving me a silent question; however, I don’t respond. I only shake my head and pop another grape in my mouth.

  I look at Kayla again from across the cafeteria to see her swipe a hand under her eye. She shakes her head and says something to her friend before she stands up and exits the cafeteria. When she walks past me, I can hear a gentle sob leave her lips.

  I can’t help but hate myself for making her cry. But why?

  The basketball courts are quiet. The night is cool as I step onto the asphalt, moving to center court. I drop down and sit on the cool ground, wrapping my arms around my knees as I feel tears blur my vision. I look up at the basketball hoop and bite my bottom lip.

  Ever since Kyle was seven, we have been coming to these courts to train him to become a huge basketball star. After six years, it’s all gone just like that. By one gunshot, one second. Everything can change in one moment.

  My brother will never play basketball at Waubonsie. He will never know what it feels like to win a basketball game. He will never fall in love or get his first kiss. Kyle will never go to Homecoming or Prom. Will never get married or have his own son to teach basketball to. I will never again have a brother to grow up with.

  It was all lost that night.

  And no matter how irrational it is, I blame Kayla. I hate her for what she has done. She practically forces me to bring him back, to show him that I was still his brother and that I cared about him more than she ever could.

  Chapter Three


  Anger

  *Kayla*

  September 22, 2015

  Yesterday was my first day back at school after the death of Kyle Perkins. I was actually quite surprised when I saw Dallas walk into our Psychology class. I’m sure his parents need him more than the school does. We could have survived another week without the presence of Dallas Perkins.

  Well, everyone aside from Ashley Delta.

  She was overjoyed to be reunited with her boyfriend. However, I could see the way he looked at her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she walks in today with puffy eyes and a red nose. It is almost a guarantee that her heart will be broken in due time.

  I know Dallas tried to break my heart, break me, by everything he said to me yesterday at lunch. I was okay with him yelling at me. I was okay with him blaming me for his brother’s death. I was not okay that he could so easily dismiss the fact that his brother idolized him. That he thought so little of Kyle. I was also not okay with him thinking I intentionally sought the take Dallas’ place in Kyle’s life.

  I couldn’t hold it against him, however. He was hurt, and he needed someone to blame. However, I can’t help but get the feeling that Kyle’s death hasn’t fully sunk in with him. Why was he so willing to go to school? And what did he mean by “next time you take Kyle to play basketball, I’m coming with”?

  There wasn’t going to be a next time.

  I went to the basketball courts last night, in some sort of way to reconnect with Kyle. I missed him not coming to our tutor session that Saturday before the incident. I never knew how much I relied on him. Without him coming every Saturday, it feels as if something is missing in my week. In my life.

  I can’t imagine how it is for the Perkins family. They must be fighting every day just to get out of bed, knowing they will never make their son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a package of string cheese and a bag of green grapes for lunch. Or wash his clothes, or make his bed. They will never take him to get a haircut again or…watch him play basketball as a Waubonsie Warrior.

  A lone tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. I was always so excited to see Kyle exceed his brother’s skill in basketball. I was ready to have him become a Chicago Bulls player. However, it is never going to happen, and it’s a cold, hard reality to face.

  Dallas was at the courts, sitting at center circle, his arms hooked around his legs and forehead pressed against his knees. The sight was gut wrenching, especially when I saw a sob rack through him. Not wanting to disturb him, I turned and headed back to my house. Dallas deserved to be with Kyle more than I did at the moment.

  I promised myself that I would return.

  Snapping back into the present, I open my book and return to reading, leaning back against the tree at the edge of the school courtyard.

  Lunch is only halfway through, and I decided to spend the rest of it outside, enjoying the weather while it’s still warm. A few other students are with me, chattering quietly. Ignoring them, I finish the chapter and continue to the next.

  Before I could get through the first line, I hear a collection of yelling and screaming. Lifting my head, my eyes connect with two men tackling and fighting.

  “You think you can just shove me?!” I hear a thud, and I wince, knowing the poor man just got the end of Dallas’s fist. “Without apologizing?” Another thud.

  I get to my feet, dropping my book where I sat, and lightly jog over to see Dallas straddling David Wood. He delivers another punch, and I see blood running down David’s face.

  David lifts his hands to block the fists, and I feel as if I’m going to be sick. What is Dallas doing? All because of a shove?

  Dallas grabs David by the collar of his shirt and pulls him up only to knock him down again with another punch. Deciding I have to do something, considering all the other bystanders aren’t interfering, I run over and grab Dallas by the shoulders, yanking him off David.

  Dallas hits the ground, holding a look of surprise on his face until he sees it’s me and squints. He quickly stands to his feet and towers over me, hands balled into fists. “Move,” he growls.

  “No.” I stand my ground, crossing my arms over my chest, blocking Dallas from getting to David, who is slowly rising to a sitting position. “If you want to get to him, you’ll have to get through me.”

  Dallas arches a brow. “You think I won’t hit a girl? I will gladly knock your teeth in,” he snaps. By the look in his eyes, I have a feeling he’s right.

  But I know Mrs. Perkins. I know she would never raise kids who would abuse women. I also don’t think she’d raise kids who fought innocent people, either. Perhaps I am mistaken and Dallas will knock my teeth in.

  “Go ahead,” I say, surprised my voice is strong and not wavering. I’m shaking with fear on the inside.

  Dallas stares at me for a long moment, his blue eyes darker than usual. They’re not sky blue like the typical Perkins eyes. They carry a desire for revenge, and it chills me to the bone.

  Dallas grunts and runs a hand through his hair, leaving a thin trail of blood in his blond locks. “Bitch,” he mutters before turning and walking away, only to stop dead in his tracks. I look over my shoulder to see Mr. Gonzalez-Andrews, a math teacher, standing there with Mr. Hathaway, our principal. They are glaring sharply at Dallas, who lets out a groan.

  “Let’s go. Principal’s office. Kayla, could you take David to the nurse, please?” I let out a sigh but nod my head, reaching a hand down to David. He gratefully takes it, and I help walk him to the nurse’s office, his arm slung around my shoulder.

  “Thank you,” he moans, wincing in pain as he speaks. I only nod my head. He doesn’t have to mention it. I am happy to help him.

  I swing my purple key chain around my pointer finger as I walk toward my silver Toyota Solara convertible. I unlock the car and throw my backpack in the trunk. As I open the driver’s door, it is harshly slammed shut, and I jump back, gasping. I look over my shoulder to see Dallas standing there, his face holding nothing but anger.

  I gulp, leaning against my car and crossing my arms. “Nice day, isn’t it? I’m thinking of taking my car around, top down, feeling the nice breeze in my hair. How about you? You going to go on a cruise? I bet Jeeps are fun to drive in the summer. No doors, no roof. Perfect,” I babble, biting my bottom lip as I stare Dallas in the eyes.

  I swear, on my father’s grave, that his tight mouth slightly quirked up in amusement. I call that a win.

  “What you did was gravely stupid, Kayla. If you hadn’t been a girl, I would have knocked you senseless,” he grumbles.

  “But I thought you were willing to hit girls?” I snip back at him. This time, Dallas does smile. But not a friendly ha-ha-I-think-you’re-funny smile. More like don’t-talk-back-to-me-or-I-will-murder-your-family smile.

  “Don’t be smart with me. I severely hate you right now.”

  “Why? I don’t understand what I ever did to make you hate me. The first time we spoke was when you picked Kyle up from my hou—” I let out a squeak, and Dallas roughly shoves me into my car, his arm pressed against my chest. He leans into me, glowering.

  “Do not say his name. You don’t get to say his name. Not anymore.” My eyes are wide with fear, but all I do is nod and bite my bottom lip.

  Dallas squints before he eases up.

  “He liked me. He wanted us to meet,” I whisper. Dallas’s jaw ticks as he looks over my car, staring at nothing. I let out a sigh. “He loved you more than anyone. I didn’t steal him, Dallas. I was just trying to help you.”

  “Me? You were trying to help me?” he snarls, his dark blue eyes meeting mine again.

  I nod like an idiot, gulping. Students walk by us, only slowing down for a fraction of a second to watch us before scurrying off, not wanting to be a part of this.

  “Yes. I knew how important it was to you. It’s your sport. However, you had other responsibilities. I was just trying to help, so you didn’t feel like you were letting him down by not being able to help him every Saturday.
I’m so sorry, Dallas. I wasn’t thinking. I-I was just trying to help.” I hiccup a sob as I force the words to leave my lips, my eyes watering with tears.

  Dallas looks down at me, his eyes softening slightly, and I can’t help but feel relieved. Perhaps I am getting through to him. I don’t want us to be enemies. Kyle meant too much to the both of us that we can’t soil his memory by fighting with one another. He wouldn’t want that.

  “Have a good day, Kayla,” he says and then turns and walks away, not saying another word.

  I sigh and hang my head as sudden exhaustion overtakes me. That took more out of me than I care to admit.

  When I get home, my mom and Katie are sitting at the kitchen table, working on a puzzle. Dallas seemed to have held me up longer than I thought. Katie is in middle school; she never gets home before me, considering her school gets out a good thirty minutes after mine.

  “Hey baby!” my mom calls. I drop my backpack by the stairs, kick off my flip-flops, and slowly walk over to sit beside my sister. I ruffle her hair gently and place a kiss to her cheek. She groans and wipes it off.

  “Hey, Mama.”

  “Tough day?” she asks.

  “Exciting day. Exhausting day.” I reach over and grab a puzzle piece, placing it in its spot. I peek up at my mom, and she offers me a sad smile.

  “How are you doing, sweetie?”

  “I’m fine. Actually, I’m going to lie down. Wake me up when it’s Vikings time,” I say and head upstairs, picking up my backpack along the way.

  Flopping on my bed, I let out a sigh as I look up at the ceiling, shaking my head. What a crazy day.

  I will never be able to figure Dallas out…even though I have a feeling I will be seeing a lot more of him.